cesareditorasfandomcom-20200214-history
2016
Early Months / Early Plans In January the Company announced it was going to put its efforts into the making of Por Portugal A Fora 3, as well as the release of a themed "Easter Album", that was later postponed to the Fall, and a B-Sides album of the Emerge-Me! project. César Editoras also planned on completing and updating this very Wikia and once again brought up the idea of starting a Merchandising Unit, an idea which has so far been many times discussed with no actual result. Lastly a trip, a constant in later years, was on the cards. On the 15th of January 2016 the Official Website reached its 2000th hit, circa one year and 3 months after its 1000th, circa five months after the website's foundation. As stated by the company the next step would be " let's be down to earth, reaching 2070 hits". On the 10th of February 2016 César Editoras made clear its opinion on the Euthanasia topic. César Editoras "fully supports Euthanasia and will sponsor any cause that wishes to get this topic to the most confusing of referendums!". The company expressed its amazement, when it discovered that Euthanasia was not allowed in Portugal in cases of extreme pain. But César Editoras went a step further and endorsed the pratice in every single situation. "If the right to live is incontestable, so should the right to die". When someone, argues the company, is in a situation of extreme physical or emotional disconfort, it is usually upheld that said person is "not entirely in full possession of his mental habilities". Nevertheless, in these situations, this human being has at his disposal a set of accessible tools to end his life. Thus a more humane and controlled way to end life is necessary, Euthanasia. In César Editoras' eyes "this practice is a fundamental Human Right and whoever opposes it is selfish, for he or she is impeding a very personal and important choice". Later the same month A. A Criança, first single taken out of Amor de Mãe, was voted by fans the album's best song, surpassing by one vote the second single, Hacka-Me O Coração. On the first day of March "A Very Awkward Moment" ocurred. All started when Lenocínio Baptista, working late at night in O Beco do Julião was invited by César Editora's crew to a heavy night of binge-drinking. His refusal was met with immediate action. The crew went immediately to Beco do Julião, bringing along big boxes of "reasonable beer". The employees stormed into the company's HQ breaking doors and storaging all the beer inside the Fridge, while chugging cans at hand. Lenocínio told his colleagues that if they waited a bit in another room he would finish his chores and join them afterwards. Unfortunately for the Intern Lawyer his colleagues suspected he was going to sneak out of the building. Lenocínio was tied to his chair out of the blue. A funnel was stuck deep inside the captive's mouth and a "7% ABV dark beer" was poured down. Lenocínio, not used to drink mainly because his family has a drinking problem history, immediately vomited. He could then either drink willingly or be forced "the old-fashioned way". Lenocínio was once again the victim of a beer waterful. His spastic movements and despair made him tumble to the ground, where he lay over his puke and spilled beer. That was when the other employees understood their preposterous violations of the being. Therefore they lifted Lenocínio up off the floor and removed the shackles. Lenocínio, while drunk and stunned, confessed not only his family's (and therefore also his) tendency to alcoholism, but also an inherited little and unnoticeable while sober mental retardation. He also confessed he did not drink alcohol for when he does he "becomes extremely violent and commits many hedious sexual assaults on house pets. When he is bereft of this satisfaction his violence and recklessness know no bounds. After the incident the Intern Lawyer reached a Settlement with the company. Lenocínio would not sue César Editoras if he were granted an extra day off per year. At the end of the night his colleagues were nontheless extremely disappointed in him, for not having been told of his mental condition. Before leaving Lenocínio was slapped once by each and every employee. In middle March Lenocínio Baptista, "through his own efforts and exposure given by César Editoras", wrote an article about the Human Body entitled "Averiguando a Estrondosa Complexidade da Nossa Materialidade: Uma reflexão crítica sobre a auto-compreensão a posteriori do Corpo Humano" (trans: Ascertaining the Thundering Complexity of our Materiality: A Critical Reflection on the a posteriori self-understanding of the Human Body) for a Mozambique based journal called Filhos de Deus ''(trans: God's Sons). In it Lenocínio discussed the average man's lack of awareness of what was going on inside him and that very same awareness. The Intern Lawyer also exposed the body-self dicotomy and the way the body limited man's scope. Lastly Lenocínio expressed awe at some important organs and showed himself confusion towards a topic better discussed by a biologist. On the 19th of March André Lazarra's musical proect Emerge-Me! announced a new record. This time it would be a B-Sides Album comprised of songs that did not make the previous two, as well as new, but "not good enough" songs. These recordings were made with "what was at hand", usually Lazarra's cell phone, so the sound was not very clean. Out of the vast set of unreleased tracks that were not good enough to make another album, Lazarra chose his favourites. At the time the expected release date was May. Surprisingly, on the 28th of said predicted month, the album was indeed released to the public. After the abuse suffered at the hands of his work colleagues on the first day of March Lenocínio would, one month later, suffer yet another mishap. The message putting César Editoras up to date on the accident was posted on the Official Website on the 30th of March and had the title "A Cauterização da Ferida" (trans: The Wound's Cauterization). Alone at night at Beco do Julião Lenocínio wandered its rooms when a metal board covering a hole on the second floor and the first floor's ceiling fell on his leg and opened a deep and wide gash. Lenocínio fell to the floor and rolled in pain for some time, spilling his bloob all around the wooden floor. He, then, got up and sat on the floor with his legs streched and his hand over his wound. Opening the sides of his cut Lenocínio saw "blends he did not understand. Cables, cut and loose inside his leg" His bone was intact. At the time the Intern Lawyer thought he'd lost around three liters of blood. Lenocínio immediately ingested three Metropolol pills, which would lower his heart beats and blood pressure, giving him time. Lenocínio went up to a gas heater in order to press his wound to the fire, but the position he had to hold was not a job for a weakened man with a serious standing up problem. Remebering past works done on the building Lenocínio remebered a tool which he could easily use to save himself. Creeping Lenocínio started to go up the stairs, using his left elbow to lift his body, as his right hand covered the open wound. As he went up a pool of blood formed at the bottom of the stairs, for his effort made his leg muscles tense, which then would gush blood. Next to this pool the César Editoras employee sighted a furry rat, attracted by the neglected blood. Tasting it the animal looked up, not immediately noticing Lenocínio, who made no sound, due to the darkness atop the stairs and the brightness at its bottom. The rodent started slowly climbing up the stairs. Lenocínio understood both were on the same foot. Abruptly, and fearing for his life, Lenocínio ignored the pain and tiredness he felt in order to quickly reach the second floor. At that moment the rat knew it was in for a treat. Thus, it felt no need to hurry, for it could easily savor the moment while it lasted. Already on the upper floor Lenocínio sat on the ground searching frantically for a useful object in the dark. Soon he found a Forcep, left behind for some reason by Lazarra. Deciding to sacrifice himself a bit so that he could finish off the rat with certainty Lenocínio leaned his back against the wall, waited, rested and pretended to be deceased. The rat waded through the murk until it found warm meat. It did not understand what it was, just like before, but it regarded it as prey. It approached the open wound, and chose to stick his head inside it, instead of ripping out the outer flesh. When Lenocínio felt the strong grip of the beast's teeth he used his cell phone's light to find the animal and the Forcep in his right hand to grab and crush the rat's head, letting its blood spill over his widely opened injury. After the killing Lenocínio crawled to the adjacent room, where the board had fallen from and where he found the propane torch he had been longing for. Grabbing the sides of his gash he aimed the tool at it and fired. It took some minutes to cauterize the wound, for after every single 8-seconds session he had to rest and regain mental strength to accomplish his goal. Afterwards Lenocínio rolled his white shirt around the burnt area and slept on the floor where he lay. Like this stayed the Intern lawyer the whole weekend from Friday until Monday, when Lazarra finally found him. After ignoring initial lamentations from his colleague, the Linguistic Consultant only went to the Pharmacy to buy him cream after receiving on his hand the money that would pay it. Lenocínio, as is well known, is quite afraid of Hospital infections, specially when the wound is large and exposed. For an undetermined period of time Lenocínio remained in Beco do Julião, applying cream sporadically, resting, unable to move. Concrete Projects On the 8th of April of 2016 César Editoras announced it was leaving Instagram. The decision was made public via the same Social Network and came as a surprise to many. The company stated many reasons for its departure, being the main one a "truly revolting disappointment with it". Throughout the months the account was active a sense of a lack of identification with Instagram's values took César Editoras over. When the company began this project it saw it as a way of expanding itself and reaching more people. At the very end of said project, and after thourough analysis, a conclusion was reached by César Editoras' members: The company would be hypocritical were it to remain attached to Instagram. André Lazarra "took the stage" to explain with detail the company's position, thus representing César Editoras. Lazarra said that Instagram created many diseases, such as the Selfie, the Hashtag, the superficiality and self adulation. Lazarra stated that most accounts did not have an informative goal, just an egocentric one. While accounts such as National Geographic or NASA can indeed inform the reader, an account where photographs are that of someone stating where they are pose no real benefit to the follower. With no informative goal, stresses Lazarra, the poster seeks only recognition, adulation and exposure, via huge quantities of "likes". César Editoras has always maintained a strong position regarding superficiality and ignoble mainstream currents lead by group effects. This same group effect impedes people from asking bothersome questions, given that both partake in a mutual exchange of online recognition. Both are satisfied that each one supports their egocentrism mutually and in the same proportion, so questions need not be asked and are not desirable. One has to think "outside the group" in order to understand that delivering a photograph of only himself with a futile description brings no good to society and is, all in all, a very arrogant and egocentrical move. All data relating to the account was saved and properly storaged. On the 11th of April César Editoras announced that the Easter Record would not take place, and would therefore be released in the Fall. Its theme was "Christianity and God" and songs would be written by many César Editoras' members. In late April both César Editoas' CEO and André Lazarra visited an Art Gallery, where an aquaintance was exhibiting some paintings. Both the visitors asked themselves if another harmful group effect was going on. According to their report the paintings "were rubbish and meaningless". After looking at about three of them they stopped in front of one which "resembled a dark physiological human necessity", while constantly avoiding the hostess, who "resembled a needy chicken, always asking people why they had stopped in front of that specific painting". This painting was called "Life" and was a simple brush on the canvas. But then both colleagues stopped and wondered whether this painting meant that our lives were just a careless brush on a canvas done by a Supreme being. Somewhat against their will they called the hostess and posed this same question. "No", she said, "painting is my life and whichever expression is valid" (thus such a simple one). To both members that did not come as a shock, but as a natural and expected disappointment. "Saying that is the same as saying that «Music is my life». No Tatiana, your life, before becoming dependent on AIDS, is hurrying up my order before the chips get cold. The conclusion was simple: Our Society is lead by shallowness and its reign will known no end. It was on the 28th of May that André Lazarra released his musical project's B-Sides Album, ''Itens Obscuros: Uma Colecção de Inseguranças, via Bandcamp. The release date was announced on May 16th. 12 handpicked songs comprise the album, although Lazarra himself stated that many more could. The album was not promoted in any way and only updates on its completion or release status were ever made. There's no information on how well received the work was, since César Editoras merely "abandoned" it online. The album could be seen as a "filler" in a year where the company hasn't been very active driectly and practicaly. In June, however, the company presented the reader with a plan for the summer months on its official website. This plan's objective was to keep the Wikia up with recent activity by the company and to finish other works that were seriously delayed. "The Wikia was the main focus point" and indeed many efforts were made to improve it. The visual was radically changed, in order to make browsing more fluid and functional, by dividing the main page (at the time containing all the information) into periods of time with their respective contents (normally one year), creating one page for each period. Also, the lack of information was righteously put to rest, through intensive writing and updating. AOTY was pronounced "almost forgotten, but still there". César Editoras once again brought up the Mercahndising question, perhaps the oldest one lacking any completion or concrete decision, discussing whether the company's brand was strong enough for this idea to take off. To assess its readers' opinions on the company, César Editoras divised a typeform where many different and interesting questions were asked. Sadly, this initiative had no support whatsoever. A Voyage was also announced, to "purify the employees from all the city's day life's evils. César Editoras also used this opportunity to announce that sometime in 2017 it was planning on releasing a book containing many "texts and thoughts written by its members, released or unreleased, in the form of a book". In late June some members attended a Political Forum held in the Estoril Palace Hotel, without invitation or right to participate in it (available by payment). The employees spent the night in a "cheap hotel nearby" but, nonetheless "the employees did not dispense all the luxuries that such a Palace could offer. Not only did we have lunch and dinner without paying and no one noticing, since there was no control, but also, at the end of the day, took advantage in an opulent fashion of the pool, reserved to checked-in guest only". The staff also took along with them to their sleeping place as many bottles of wine as they could. The big issue debated in the conference rooms was, in the wake of Brexit, whether the EU needed more integration or flexibility. The company defended a "more flexibility approach" and criticized the EU's idealism, and the way it ignores nationalist parties, instead trying to thwart andsuffocate them. In the end, being faithful to its own political views, César Editoras established a plan to solve part of the many current european crisis, improving the "european daily life". On the 9th of July César Editoras informed its readers that Beco do Julião would be partly renovated. The message started with a joking reference to the nature of the Headquarters, stating that these seemed to be for some time under some kind of works. From the 14th of July until the 27th "O Beco" was restored in areas deemed structural and necessary. Nonetheless restoring the façade was not considered a bright idea, for it would bring attention to the newly renovated building, whose "inner activities" undertaken by the company if discovered would bring legal consequences to the latter. Thus, the front of the building was not rebuilt and its windows remain properly sealed. The project had a very well outlined plan: # Turn on the Radio and play Townes Van Zanst # Replace the floor's rotting wooden slabs, exterminating all rodent's nests and dosing the ground with poison # Separate the nonfunctional toilet from the piping and dig a hole deep in the earth capable of withstanding heavy loads of faeces, diarrhea, vomit and animals. # Fill holes on the second floor's floor and first floor's ceiling. # Fix roof to keep out seepages. # Clean unused rooms and create a Kitchen. # Leave a room for Lazarra's companies, in which Lenocínio will put the matress he hides under his desk, that he's been using to sleep in Beco do Julião, thinking the other members of César Editoras are unaware of this situation. # Exterminate all Cockroaches, Bugs, Lice and Stray Dogs. # Redifining the current desks' positioning inside Beco do Julião's Computer Room to avoid physical manifestations of disagreement. # Redefinig where the firearms are kept. # Reinforcing the Beco do Julião with more cement and bars in order to avoid new unpleasant encounters with the homeless. # Redefining escape routes in case of fire, the Police and romenians. # Move away bus stop further down the road. # Make oficial and formal intimidation strategies toward nearby Chinese Stores Change of Approach Throughout the end of 2015, a Resting Year, and most part of 2016 César Editoras changed its approach in many areas, thus broadening as well its interventioning potential. a